


detoxify

by sakon



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Unreliable Narrator, can be underage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27206788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakon/pseuds/sakon
Summary: It is not. Whatever they have isn't love, and it isn't affection. This is not love; this is the only time when they do not clash — when words become unspoken, harsh, desperate, and more often than not, lovely. Lovely, however, does not equate to love.
Relationships: Hyoudou Juuza/Settsu Banri
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	detoxify

Banri kisses him, soft and slow, and Juza kisses back, repeating the mantra he so often does. _This means nothing, this is not love —_

The kiss rushes, deepens, and Settsu's hands slip against his chest. They curve down the rows of muscle, knocking him against the wall as they curl down the waistline of his boxers. Juza, eyes closed against an entirely comforting presence, repeats it to himself again. 

_This is not love._

It is not. Whatever they have isn't love, and it isn't affection. This is not love; this is the only time when they do not clash — when words become unspoken, harsh, desperate, and more often than not, lovely. Lovely, however, does not equate to love. 

This is not love; Settsu does not love Juza, and definitely not like ( _how he wishes_ ) how he would treat a woman. Maybe proper, maybe with respect — or maybe that's just some kind of delusion. Settsu is not kind like that, not the kind to be so chivalrous, and he never will be. He doesn't treat him painfully, and his hands thumb down his thighs more gentle than he expects. But he isn't kind. 

Or maybe that's the heat haze talking. It's hard to maintain emotions when you're screwing your roommate, the one you kinda fuckin' like. Anything to keep his mind off it all, because he isn't about to think — or he isn't trying to. 

He's always in his head. This once he needs to be out of it. His mind, of course, does not allow that. It feels clustered, and he bites back the desire to scream — for many reasons. Settsu doesn't mix him up; his shit is weak and low-effort, and now, burning memories into his brain, Banri is mixing everything up. 

A kiss burns like hot fire, and fire _cleanses_ ; the day washes away in the storm of hands and hair and quick words that ultimately mean nothing. The hands burn into his strong muscles, and moons flicker down his body, entombed in the rows of purple-pinks scrolling down his chest. Fire burns; fire cleanses. It's all — most not physical — pain, and then, a little pleasure, too.

(He's a glutton for pain. He's a slave to deviance — that one fancy word he knows—and stupidity.)

And it washes away his problems with more. With this, with everything he never wanted in lust or love or whatever Juza so calls it. It's all temporary because no, this _is_ not love. Banri mapping heart-shaped scratches across his back, drafting abstract art shaped in kisses across his chest, and holding the slight turn in his broad waist is not love. Banri pushing him against a headboard and whispering sweet nothings with the taste of morning on the border and rolling a hand through his hair when he wakes up in the crevice of Juza's arm, or even opposite, when Juza's huddled up against his lanky, muscled body— all of that is not love.

Him touching down Juza's thighs, stripping him of clothes — that is not love. None of this is love, and Juza, hands braced against the every bit he can fit his hands into, says this. 

He hears his own groan, Settsu's own, and repeats it again. He repeats it with hands moulded against his waist, with a body smushed between his legs. And with a kiss consuming both, he holds his own heart and feels the thought blanket his mind. 

This is not love; this can't be love.

_This is not—_

love.


End file.
